celeste

i think the healing process gets to be about you, and what you need, and not them. Pressure to forgive is useless. Choose to work at it if it you believe it might help.

I'm not sure I've ever forgiven my childhood bullies. I live my life away from them and rarely think about them. This is a way of finding peace, too. Working on healing yourself, (with therapy or whatever) becoming stronger, and just...making them irrelevant to you. Some people do need to figure out why they did it or forgive them, but the important thing is that the victim decided they needed it, not because people told them they had to.

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Connections
Puzzle #728
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if you wouldn't do it to a cis abuser, it basically means you see trans people as their agab and only ever use the correct pronoun for the sake of good manners. not because you think they're really the gender they say. if you do think they are the gender they say and you're using it exclusively to use systemic power to hurt, that's a slur.

That's my take. It's not about the abuser. It's about if you believe trans people in the same way you believe cis people. And with speech that's approaching a slur, it's about if you're the kind of person who uses those.

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mbin has an "abandoned" tab when you search communities. does lemmy have something like that?

when you kiss your wife's cheek in front of a child, are you a pedophile?

who are you accusing of being a pedophile? and what confusion are you referring to, specifically?

There was a puzzle in Longest Journey that bugged people where you had to get a subway key. At the time, I was so used to those kinds of puzzles, I just thought it was funny.

I don't remember if I had to look it up or guessed my way through, but, yeah. That one sucked. I don't bake much now, but I did back then and it was so annoying.

looks like royalty!